Gooey Cookie Butter Brown Sugar Bars

Cookie butter. Alternate names: Biscoff spread, Speculoos.

These bars–all of the above, plus nectar of the gods.

Did I get the magic words in there anywhere?

If you’re like me, you’ll want to grab a jar and just jam your really grown-up Minnie Mouse spoon right in–

Ohhh yeah.

If this sounds like something you have done would do, you won’t want to miss these heavenly, gooey, cinnamony cookie butter bars!

Plus, they’ll give you a really amazing excuse to spoon out mouthfuls of cookie butter while you’re waiting for the bars to finish baking. I know my jar is almost gone, and the recipe only calls for a little over half a cup…

On the other hand, if you’d like to agonize over nutritional labels and keep your body in bikini ship-shape in time for summer–skip out on these. Be my guest. Really. Because that means more, more, and more for me.

Oh, who are we kidding? These are awesome. You HAVE to try them!

If you’re really set on avoiding these, I’ll be nice. I won’t tell you about the thick, perfectly proportioned spiced graham cracker crust, and I certainly won’t tell you about the melt-in-your-mouth, warm gooey layer of cookie butter molasses-style brown sugar that you’re sure to love.

Aren’t I just the nicest?

You can probably see why having an entire trayful of these bad boys sitting on my kitchen counter can be an eensy, weensy, HUGE problem.

So check out the recipe. You DO have a jar of cookie butter sitting in your pantry, don’t you? Why, you DO? (Or if you don’t–you WILL in about 10 minutes, right?)

While I leave to Google the definition of “addiction,” why don’t you take another look at these drool-worthy bars?

And if you don’t see me back again in a while–er, don’t look in the kitchen. You might find a strange girl standing there with a Minnie Mouse spoon in one hand and an empty jar of cookie butter in the other…and that’s just awkward.

Guess you might want to check your kitchen after all. And while you’re there, why not make these FANTASTIC cookie butter addict bars?

Gooey Cookie Butter Brown Sugar Bars

Cookie butter filling adapted from Handle the Heat

Ingredients:

For graham cracker crust:

• 2 cups graham cracker crumbs (approximately 16 sheets, crushed)
• 10 tablespoons butter or margarine, melted and cooled to room temperature
• 1/3 cup white sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

For cookie butter brown sugar filling:

• 3 eggs
• 1 1/4 cups dark brown sugar, tightly packed
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup cookie butter spread

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease an 8×8-inch baking pan and set aside.
2. To make crust: Combine all crust ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Press evenly and lightly into greased baking pan. Bake in preheated oven for 8-10 minutes, until lightly golden. Set aside to cool while making filling.
3. To make filling: Combine filling ingredients until completely smooth. Pour over slightly cooled crust and bake for approximately 30 minutes, until the center has just set. Remove from oven and allow to cool, then cut into bars and cool completely on a wire rack.

Crunchy Cookie Butter Granola (and Ala’s Breakfast Breakdown of People in Your Day-to-Day Life)

I’ll confess. I’ve been reading Victorian novels lately.

This got me thinking about angst muffins (who I’ll explain in a second–hold onto your corsets, lady-folks, and top hats, gentlemen), which got me in turn thinking about pastries. Food. Hunger. Uneaten dinner. Growl.

A few years ago, I stumbled across Sarah’s Snack Theory, a brilliant synthesis of three male character types that you’re likely to like, hate, or just go outright epileptic over when you meet him in the literature of your choice. Then, as if I didn’t like the girl enough already, she goes on and likens them to different types of food:

angst muffins (your brooding woe-in-soul harborers),

sandwiches (reliable boy-next-door types), and

pastries (your variegated wild cards).

Since that glorious moment of serendipitous blog surfing, various groups of my friends and I have entertained (mostly facetious) conversations about the cuisine archetypes we’re likely to meet in life. We frequently assign code categories to mutual acquaintances, thus if you heard:

“Oh my gosh, did you see how much of a meringue ____ was being today?”

–you’ll know I mean that this person is really nice to look at but is mostly just full of air, with very little substance and a lot fluffiness for brains.

or

“I just woke up to the most AMAZING crepe this morning”

which could mean a LOT of things, including the possibility that you got lucky last night with somebody who’s the perfect balance of sweet and satisfying without being overbearing, and then you woke up and realized it wasn’t just a dream. And maybe he/she made you delicious crepes for breakfast, too. Who knows.

Are you loving this system as much as I am yet?

As a gentle segue into this beautiful gossip-monger’s paradise, and before I run out of words in this post, I’m going to introduce you to Ala’s Breakfast Breakdown of People in Your Day-to-Day Life.

The great thing about this scale is that you can basically apply it to the people in whatever place you currently frequent most–whether that’s a school, office, home, Disneyland, madhouse, wherever. You can talk about them, to their faces, without them ever even knowing it.

So, without further ado: the breakfast types you’ll meet in your day-to-day life.

(All of the following examples are derived from Disney movies and literary works–I mean, food, lit, and Disney. You didn’t actually expect serious stuff from this blog, did you?)

#1: The English muffin

Pros: Reliable, solid, and meticulously trimmed, the English Muffin type is your go-to when you have a logical problem that needs to be solved. They make great coworkers and study buddies.

Cons: While dependable, this muffin type is not exactly brimming with surprises. They are commonly perceived as being flat all around, bland when taken alone, and just, well, there. Not necessarily your first choice for a feet-sweeping, swoon-inducing romantic interest. Maybe not even your tenth, for that matter.

How English Muffins Score: They’re might not always seem like the most terribly exciting people in the world, but don’t pass up the opportunity to get to know them, either. If you bring your own sweet addition (like a little bit of jam!), you might find that they’re more than willing to open up and take it in stride, adding a nice flair to an otherwise really solid personality. They’re not boring–they just like their data and logic a lot, and tend to come off reserved or taciturn, but you’ll never be at loss for a shoulder to lean on with an English Muffin around.

Examples: Eve from Wall-E, Violet from The Incredibles, Mr. Knightley from Emma

#2: The Donut

Pros: They’re sweet. Plain and simple. These are the people who send you care packages for no reason at all, make you little collages of every single memory you’ve had together since before you were aware you knew each other, and basically brighten up your day even if it’s 5 AM and you haven’t had your kick of caffeine yet.

Cons: You’re not really sure what’s going on here all the time. It’s sort of like the idea of having dessert for breakfast–why is there sweetness here, and how do these people always manage to have as much energy no matter what time of day it is? Sometimes you might suspect them of being falsely saccharine sweet or secretly raiding the drug cartel’s latest shipment, because there’s no way in holy hummus they can be so happy. All. The. Time. Plus, you’re not sure how much substance there is behind all the sugary overload here–their energy can come off as a bit of airheadedness.

How Donuts Score: You really can’t hate ‘em. You could, but nobody’s going to give you brownie points for doing it because it’s sort of like trying to hate a Labrador Retriever puppy. At the same time, donut types don’t always feel at ease in overly formal situations, and they get a lot of flack for being filled with a lot of empty nothing. If you give them a chance, though, you’ll find that they’re sweet and true to the very core. Don’t judge donuts too quickly as a group, either: even though the stereotypical donut is just light fluff, there are plenty of heftier deep thinkers–more apple fritter types, if you will–out there, too.

Examples: Tigger from Winnie-the-Pooh, Rapunzel from Tangled, Kitty from Pride and Prejudice, Tohru from Fruits Basket (manga)

#3: The Crepe

Pros: They’re generally people people, meaning they’re bold yet classy in their interactions with others. They come in savory and sweet flavors, which means you’ll also get a nice mix with this group. Crepes tend to be leader or teacher-types with a soft but delicate exterior, making them easy to get to know, and maybe even befriend.

Cons: As much as they love working with people from all stripes and strides of life, their hyperawareness of others’ feelings can make them quick to take things personally, too. Crepes can be very sensitive and often feel the scorch coming on more acutely than other breakfast types do, even if they don’t show it, so others often feel they have to tiptoe around crepe types (or else risk waterworks). They sometimes withdraw behind professional masks as well, making their more complex interiority a bit difficult to access at a friend level.

How Crepes Score: They’re all-around dandy people who are pleasant to be around. As long as you don’t treat them ungratefully and work a bit to get past their professional or sensitive demeanor, you’ll be sure to find a charismatic and trustworthy friend.

Examples: Jane from Pride and Prejudice, John Wemmick from Great Expectations, Pacha from Emperor’s New Groove

4. The Cup o’ Joe

Pros: Okay, so coffee technically isn’t a breakfast food…but that doesn’t keep an obscene demographic from treating it as such. Cup o’ Joe types are mysterious, thoughtful, and extremely firm in their morals, which also makes them ridiculously intriguing individuals that everyone seems to want to know. And if you do know them, they are extremely caring and supportive in their own way, keeping you fueled through a bad day or year like an amazing metaphorical caffeine kick.

Cons: As with the entire coffee-for-breakfast idea, there’s something inherently unsatisfying about the cuppa’s. Their terseness came cause them to come off as standoffish or downright rude, and

How Cup o’ Joes Score: Brooding, rich, smoky, and frequently accompanied by a smoldering expression, cup o’ Joe’s are more likely to make an appearance in Victorian novels than in daily life. However, if you are (or find yourself lucky enough to meet) a coffee type, stick with it–even if you don’t dig it at first, you might find yourself becoming addicted pretty quick! Plus, they’re morally impeccable and deeply caring people, meaning despite the unfathomable exterior, you’ll never have to doubt the integrity of a cuppa–assuming you get to know one.

Examples: John Thornton from North and South, Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, the Beast from Beauty and the Beast

Build-It-Yourself: THE PARFAIT

Ahh….and here we’ve reached the end. I’ve by no means covered all my bases, but here’s where you come in! Parfaits are layered, complex breakfasts that come in all textures, flavors, and combinations. The best part is, you can build your own with whatever you have on hand! So now, instead of actually explaining the parfait (for which you can find an amazing cookie butter granola recipe below!), I’m going to let you build your own parfait (so to speak) and leave you with this question:

Where do you fall on my Breakfast Breakdown? Or, what breakfast food that I haven’t included here best represents you (and why)?

I can’t wait to hear all of your responses! I hope you enjoyed this scale, because I had fun reading it!

(I am, by the way, a crepe-donut in case you were curious)

Crunchy Cookie Butter Granola

Ingredients:

• 2/3 cup honey
• 2/3 cup cookie butter  (homemade or store-bought)
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup nuts of your choice, chopped
• 2 cups quick-cooking oats
• 1/4 cup toasted black sesame seeds
• 1/2 cup white chocolate chips or raisins (or both!)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees. In a microwave-safe bowl, combine honey, cookie butter, cinnamon, and vanilla. Heat for 20 seconds. Set aside.
2. Line a large pan (I used 9×13) with lightly-greased foil. In the lined pan, combine chopped nuts, oats, and sesame seeds. Pour liquid mixture over dry ingredients and stir to combine, making sure that all of the dry ingredients get covered.
3. Bake granola in preheated oven for 15 minutes, then stir and heat for an additional 10-15 minutes, until granola is fairly crunchy and golden brown. (Don’t worry if it’s not entirely clumped–it’ll clump during the cooling process!) Stir in chocolate chips or raisins. Set aside to cool completely before storing in an airtight container.

Cookie Butter PB&J Bars

You know how Mom (or at least the proverbial “mom”) always tells us not to tinker with “well enough” or “tried and true”?

Mom clearly never added cookie butter to her PB&J.

But I did. Oh, did I ever.

Let’s not leave any room for misconception: I am THE girl when it comes to PB&J fanaticism. If you’ve ever fantasized in class about the Smuckers Uncrustables PB&J sandwiches to the point where you actually start to drool (true story–medieval lit class, junior year), we should talk. If you’ve done the same while pondering over Mr. Darcy or Richard Armitage (a.k.a. Mr. Thornton from North and South–my most recent obsession), we should also talk.

Disney. Children’s lit. Useless personality quizzes. Going out of my way to step on particularly crunchy-looking leaves the day after it rains.

Basically, if you ever come across a fangirl or obsessive moment in one of my posts that really just screams to you, “YOU KNOW YOU (not-so) SECRETLY LOVE THIS TOO,” you really need to tell me. I don’t have nearly enough outlets for my quirky and eccentric passions as it is, and sometimes I hesitate to spill the beans about my crazy love for Neopets when it comes to people I have to work with for the next who-knows-how-long.

Bottom line: There are lots of things we should talk about, ‘kay?

While I’m waiting for you to come to the decision to message me about our obviously shared my latest fanaticism over period films, though, let me buy you more time by talking about these delectably creamy, firm, and downright flavor-bursting CBPB&J bars.

I’ve been making my own homemade cookie butter for a while now. It’s been the best thing in my life since they announced the 2013 release of a NEW season of Sailor Moon (***let me make this simple for you–fangirl moment??***). But recently I stumbled across Averie’s really fantastic and genius recipe for homemade cookie butter peanut butter–which, by the way, I still need to post photos for. (It just never lasts long enough in this apartment for me to take a decent snapshot of!)

At any rate, I tried making this CBPB and–holy moly! Talk about packing in the sweet, slightly salty flavors of two amazing “nut” butter worlds into one flavor-packed dip.

I decided to I wanted to make a double-decker blondie out of it, so when I found this wonderful recipe for Biscoff butter cake, my taste buds were definitely a-tingle. I decided to adapt the cookie butter layer to accommodate the CBPB, added my own favorite blondie recipe, toss in a few swirls of jam for a nice classic twist, and voila! CBPB&J. Can I totally recommend this combo on the next sandwich you pack for lunch, too?

Yes, I think I will. You should do it. Your kids will also thank you for it.

 

You’re welcome, Mumsicles.

I hope I’ve given you enough time to think about what you’d like to gush to me about. If not…well, there’s always these CBPB&J bars, no? Go whip up a batch in your kitchen tonight. I promise I won’t ask you to wipe the drool off your chin before you come back and we gush over this recipe together. Chances are, I’ll be eyeing your slice and drooling, too.

Good to see you here!

What have YOU been obsessing over (secretly or not) lately? (Whatever it is–remember, we should talk!)

Cookie Butter Peanut Butter & Jelly Bars

Cookie Butter layer adapted from Butterbaking

Yield: 9×9-inch baking pan

Ingredients:

• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/8 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/3 cup butter or margarine, melted
• 1 cup brown sugar, packed
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup white chocolate chips
• 4 oz. cream cheese, softened
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1/2 cup homemade cookie butter peanut butter (or you can also combine 1/4 cup store-bought Biscoff spread with 1/4 cup peanut butter)
• 1/2 cup raspberry or strawberry jelly

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 9×9-inch baking pan.
2. For blondie layer: In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a separate large bowl, combine melted butter and brown sugar. Mix in 1 egg and 1 tablespoon vanilla extract. Add dry ingredients and stir until just incorporated. Fold in white chocolate chips. Pour batter into pre-greased pan.
3. For cookie butter peanut butter layer: In a medium bowl, beat softened cream cheese until smooth. Add egg, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, and 1/2 cup homemade cookie butter peanut butter. Spread evenly over blondie batter.
4. Place jelly in microwave-safe bowl and heat in microwave for 15 seconds. Drop by spoonfuls on top of the cookie butter peanut butter layer; swirl lightly by running a knife through the blobs.
5. Bake in preheated oven for 20-25 minutes, until toothpick in blondie layer comes out clean (the cookie butter layer will still be pretty gooey–this is perfect! You’ll have a nice creamy layer texture on top). Cool bars and cut into 16 medium or 25 smaller squares.

Cookie Butter and PB Cookie-wiches

Let’s talk about Commercialized Holiday Mania.

Funflour Fact #1: Did you know that according to some studies, the number one fear in the world is not death, but public speaking? (I totally empathize!)

It’s catching. It’s contagious. And it’s extremely, rampantly…

Annoying.

You can probably guess who’s been receiving copious amounts of unseasonable (literally) emails as of late.

The great big Disney corporation has been sending me notices about its Halloween Bash since July. July, as in, the month of summer sunshine and the-only-place-that-sees-anything-remotely-autumn-like-is-Australia-where-it-SNOWS. And snow is considered winter, folks, not autumn. Don’t get me wrong: I love Disney. If I had to get a tattoo in an unnamed place, it would probably pay tribute to the cartoon version of the 100 Acre Woods inhabitants (sorry, A.A. Milne!). But when I get emails with a royal fanfare that trumpet at me, “Get your Halloween Bash tickets now, before time runs out!” while I still have my air conditioner blasting and sweat is dripping off the edge of my nose…

I don’t know what it is. Sometimes the holiday season cheer just feels sort of, you know–lacking.

Flour Power: I just signed up for a 1.5k open water swim to raise money for Breast Cancer Awareness this weekend. What have you done lately to help your community?

I say this as I drink out of my Disney-sponsored mug with a great ol’ picture of Grumpy on it and the caption: “BENEATH THIS GRUMPY EXTERIOR BEATS THE HEART OF A DASHING HERO.” I stole this mug from my dad…to whom I had given the mug as a birthday present earlier this year.

Did I mention that my life ambition is to become either the world’ greatest pirate who only steals gifts she’s already given to other people, or else a bigger grump than everyone else around me? So far I’m pretty well on track on both counts, thanks for asking!

It’s actually a bit like baking cookies. I’m really good at stealing back the things that I make and hand out to other people. You know that moment when the cookies just come out of the oven and you think to yourself, Oh god, those smell delicious–I can’t believe I’m giving all of these away! I’ll just try one and see how it tastes?

And then you try one, it melts in your mouth like a grand pile of epic gooey-ness, and that little cookie fiend in the corner of your mind screams for you to grab the cookies and run like all the furies of hell are on your tale.

Yeah. Think about that moment carefully, because you’re on track to become a pirate, too. We can even be ship-mateys, if you like. Arrr.

And the best part is, pirates and grumps (or grumpy pirates) don’t have to worry about getting a zillion and one emails in big glittery font telling them about how Christmas is “right around the corner.” Because it’s not. And unless you’re going to send me a present for every single day leading up to “almost-Christmas,” it’s not Christmas until I say it is. Until then, though, enjoy these! Ahoy, mateys!

What treat have you made for other people and ended up keeping because it was too good to give away?

and…

What’s your favorite/least favorite part about the holidays?

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Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe adapted from Allrecipes Yield: 2 dozen cookies

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 cup packed brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 teaspoons hot water
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips or white chocolate chips
• 1 cup chopped walnuts

Filling Ingredients:

• For cookie butter filling: 1 cup cookie butter
• For peanut butter filling: 2/3 cup peanut butter, 1/3 cup softened butter, 1 to 1 1/2 cup powdered sugar, 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract. Combine all ingredients and spread as a filling.

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. Cream together the butter, white sugar, and brown sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Dissolve baking soda in hot water. Add to batter along with salt. Stir in flour, chocolate chips, and nuts. Roll into small cookie balls (about 1″-diameter) onto ungreased pans.
3. Bake for about 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until edges are nicely browned.
4. Using desired filling (or one of your own creation!), spread onto a cooled cookie and sandwich on top with another cookie. Serve your cookie-wiches and prepare to delight your guests!

Cookie Butter Bad Boys

Awkward questions are funny. Hilarious, sometimes.

They are less funny when they happen to you.

They are even less funny when they happen to you in “real time,” a.k.a. real life, where you aren’t allowed one full week in which you painstakingly type out messages, scrap drafts, cobble together 3 sentences that sound almost civilized, and finally panic as you check your Sent Mail box right after you hit the send button.

You can probably guess who’s feeling slightly mortified at the moment.

To be fair, I’m a currently a certified patient in the Hospital of  Awkward Social Circumstances. I can’t help it.  My dad once wanted to ask a lady “how many months along” she was…Thank god I was curious and craned my neck for a glance of her first.

Verdict?

Yeah. Totally not preggers.

Genes. I blame genes.

Symptoms include laughing when things aren’t meant to be funny, going to the bathroom five times in an hour in order to avoid conversations at a party, and agonizing for hours in bed over whether or not you sounded too desperate when you were talking to your crush that afternoon.

Fortunately, my Socially Awkward Interaction of the Day (SAID) was neither meaningful nor particularly malignant in nature. I will probably not have to change my name after this encounter, although I do have an alias in case the need ever arises (it’s Rosie-Posie Foxburr of Loamsdown, in case you’re interested–courtesy of this fantastic Hobbit name generator!).

The telephone conversation:

Private number calls.

Me: Hello?

Caller: Hi. May I speak to <something like my name, sort of>.

Me: <trying to be all sly and loop-holey> There’s nobody here by that name…

Caller: I’m sorry, I said that wrong. Is Ala there?

Me: Who’s calling?

Caller: I’m calling from the National something-or-other-that-you-probably-wouldn’t-care-about-anyway. (Okay, she didn’t actually say that–but it’s true.)

Me: Um.

Caller: Is there?

Me: <slightly flustered as I try to rack my brains for a polite way to end this conversation> Wait. No. Um.

Caller: Am I speaking to Ala?

Me: Er, no, I don’t think so, there’s not–

Caller: You don’t think so? You’re not sure whether or not I’m speaking to Ala?

Me: No, that is, I’m–

Caller: Is this Ala or not?

Me: Nothere’snobodyhereIdon’tknownevermindBYE. <Hangs up>

Queen of awesome conversations? Not really.

Going to obsess over how awkward moments like these define my social life and explain my lack of meaningful, lasting connections with other people?

Maybe. Probably. Okay, yes. Definitely.

While I purport to go off and bang my head on the oven, I’m actually going to sneak in some of these cookie butter bad boys. You heard me. Cinnamon, white chocolate, and cookie butter-coated cereal. Guess being a social hermit has its benefits–now I don’t have to share with anyone.

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Cookie Butter Bad Boys

(I was determined to make these a while ago when I first discovered Biscoff, but it was Laura’s post for Biscoff puppy chow that inspired me to actually try my own version of it. Thanks!)

Ingredients:

• 3/4 cup white chocolate chips
• 1/4 cup cinnamon chips (you can also substitute peanut butter or white chocolate chips)
• 3/4 cup cookie butter, store-bought or homemade
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 2 to 2 1/2 cups rice or flake cereal, as needed (Note: I used Special K fruit ‘n yogurt because I love the cinnamon-y undertones, but any slightly sweet cereal will work!)
• 1 to 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar, as needed

Directions:

1. In a medium pot, combine all chocolate chips and cookie butter. Over medium-low heat, melt chocolate mixture, stirring constantly, until almost smooth. Remove from heat, add cinnamon, and stir frequently until mixture is completely smooth.
2. Add cereal to mixture and gently stir in until completely coated. (Allow for generous coating–you won’t regret it!)
3. Sprinkle 1 cup powdered sugar and toss cereal to coat. Add more powdered sugar as needed. Allow to cool, then serve these bad boys as a snack or delicious dessert your guests won’t want to miss!